I loved hearing Ms Lawrence read her poem at a Book Woman open mic in Austin this week. It is chillingly spot on and I am delighted she agreed to share the work here on fws. It is with sincere gratitude for mothers that I dedicate this piece to all mothers everywhere who are “trying harder,” especially my two daughters and my daughter-in-law. You rock!

d.ellis Phelps

I Am Not a Good Mother

Eileen Lawrence

A good mother makes sure her children eat three nutritious meals a day—well, more specifically, your children should take at least one bite, but finish everything on their plate, but don’t fat shame or skinny shame or reward your children with food. 

A good mother provides appropriate clothing for her children, but not brand name or they’ll get snobby, but not second-hand or your children will get laughed at and become a pariah. 

A good mother makes sure her children are dressed for the weather or they’ll get sick, or sweat, or be uncomfortable. 

A good mother has rules and is consistent, even when she’s tired or sick or having a bad day or has a work deadline or another child needs her, it doesn’t matter—consistency is the most important. 

A good mother never gets angry, but if you do get angry, apologize, but if you don’t get angry your child won’t understand that you are human and that their actions have consequences, so do get angry by all means. 

A good mother never cries in front of her children because that will scare them so badly they’ll immediately need therapy but if you don’t cry in front of your children they will think crying is only for the weak. 

A good mother pushes her children to excel and practice sports and music and math facts and read for at least 20 minutes every day and if your children don’t do all of those things every day they will fail at life and be homeless or live with you forever and not be able to hold a job see you’ve already screwed them up because they’ve been on their screens for hours. 

Screens are fine, in moderation, but no more than two minutes once a year or else your children will be addicts and you’ve given them ADHD and if your kids have ADHD you should definitely give them medication so they can do well in school and not lose confidence but if you do give them medication you’re just trying to throw chemicals at the problem and what your child really needs is fresh air and sunshine and meditation and if you hadn’t kept drinking coffee while you were pregnant this wouldn’t even be an issue and now it’s too late. 

It’s too late anyway; your kids are already messed up because you haven’t pushed them to get good grades because you didn’t want to give them anxiety or make them feel like they would never be good enough and so you were too lax and now they’ll never get into Harvard or even community college and what were you thinking why did you even have children you can barely take care of yourself. 

But, at the very least, a good mother raises thoughtful, responsible, kind children, that’s the most important thing, but we can’t tell you how to do that we can just tell you all of the things you definitely shouldn’t do ever so just do your best and read these 25 parenting books, listen to these 13 podcasts, and remember everything and apply it perfectly and you must make time for all of this and your children and also have a career and be successful because you are The Example for your children and if you don’t make time for all of these things, well, obviously, you just don’t care enough, so try harder because you can’t go back in time and do better, it's never too late; 

but it’s already too late. 



Eileen Lawrence (she/her) is a lawyer and poet who lives in central Texas with her husband, her two children, and her two cats. Her poetry has been published by Dos Gatos Press, Mutabilis Press, Visions International, and the Fargo Public Library.

Welcome to fws, Eileen!